Drowning in DNA

Well, short of a miracle, I think my DNA journey in the here and now may have come to an end. My self-imposed target won't be met, unless thousands of folk suddenly get the urge to test.
I'd like to say "comme ci comme ça" but that wouldn't be entirely truthful of me, and I've tried to be nothing but honest in my journey and my motives.
There are too many permutations to be able to be focussed and analytical. I think I've more chance of winning the lottery, and I don't use that expression lightly as all your 'pay out' depends on other people entering.
I have met some lovely relatives, I won't name anyone here, as it is a public blog, but having contact with you is worth the journey. You are family, DNA doesn't lie, unlike people :)
I will, however, not be giving up. There is still a wealth of information to be had through DNA matching. I can find out about the lives of my relatives (even without knowing with one hundred percent certainty, the nature of our relationship within a family tree), and as that is my main love, I'm still going to have a loving and productive swim in my gene pool.
Maybe one day, a test will be taken which will click everything into place, but until then I will congratulate other people on 'being a bride, while I remain the bridesmaid'.

"I see no reason that this could go horribly wrong!"

Today I have a few reflections on the 'Dangers of DNA'. There have been calls by law enforcement (mostly in the US) for access to biological information in genealogy DNA databases. Also, there is a movement to use the same DNA databases to trace unidentified bodies.
I think that both these things should be on an 'opt in' basis if they are ever realised. Imagine finding out that a close relative (a biological parent, sibling or grandparent) died a violent death, if you were an adoptee trying to trace family. A match comes up on Ancestry, or similar database, you respond, only to find out in the most impersonal way that something like that happened, or you were contacted by a member of the police to enquire after one of your close blood relatives who may be responsible for a rape or murder.

Things can also go horribly wrong for adoptees looking for answers, in my experience, there can be happy endings, but they seem to be a rarity. You may be treated with suspicion by people with close DNA matches, as they don't know what your motives are in contacting them. It needs to be handled with a great deal of tact and honesty. Some sites on social media actually advocate lying (sometimes by commission as well as omission) to matches when you first contact them as the word 'adoption' can cut off any further contact.  I really don't think dishonesty is the basis of any future relationship you may grow with someone. Being honest about your motives from the beginning, and telling people you have no expectations and no intention to disrupt families, is a fairer way to approach them, if you want their help.

You Shall Not Pass!

Some days are more difficult than others, when trying to solve a mystery in your family tree (we've spoken about brick walls before).
It feels like you are travelling down a dangerous mountain pass, picking up fragmented clues along the way as part of your quest. When all of a sudden, the road seems clear, and you can see your destination in the distance. You walk towards it, ready to grasp the knowledge awaiting you, when a knight steps in front of you in full armour, obscuring your view and telling you "You shall not pass". The knight fades, and so does the mirage of your destination.
The question is, what should you do? Carry on with your quest, or call it a day? I choose pragmatism, for each avenue you explore which turns out to be incorrect, you are eliminating a 'false positive' from the mix, thus, the waters become less muddied for future research. It feels like a pattern of detection that is Sherlockian, but unlike Holmes, it is impossible to be detached and analytical when something touches you so personally.
Today, is just one of those days where you feel like you have been assembling a jigsaw, you woke up knowing you only had half a dozen pieces to fit in for it to be finished, and when you sit down to finish it, you realise that the picture is wrong, so you have to rearrange some of the pieces.

Per ardua ad alta

When you undertake family history, if you are doing more than putting down a name, date of birth and death in a box, there can be times when you become very emotionally attached to the people you are researching.
They become people again, rather than data, as you gradually come to know some of their life stories, and you get to remotely share their ups and downs, generations later.
When I come across an ancestor or distant relative who dies before childbearing age, I place a cross in the suffix box, to denote an end of that particular line. I actually find it upsetting, and say sorry to them as I do it. It can be worse when a young relative has had their life cut short when they have fallen in the theatre of war. I think of what might have been for them. If they were unmarried before they went off gladly to protect their country, and fell on a foreign field without family to give them comfort in their final moments. The waste of a life not filled to potential is so sad. There would have been children unborn, perhaps they could have gone on to benefit humanity in a huge way? Instead, there was an empty void in a mother or sweethearts arms.
There are families who strove to raise children, and instead 9 out of ten offspring died within a 5 year period of each other, maybe from epidemics, or through having no defence against common ailments due to lack of adequate nutrition or sanitation in the family home... and yet, against the odds, maybe one survived their childhood and went on to raise families of their own. You sometimes wonder how they had the strength to go on - and sometimes triumph, in the face of adversity.
I've seen it written in the arena of social media, that if you are going to get upset about what you may find out in your family tree, then don't do it. I would disagree. I'd rather have empathy and be close to my ancestors - whatever their story, than be cold and clinical and use genealogy as a data collecting exercise.
Yes, there are times when I have to switch to researching another branch of my family tree for a few days because I've become too upset about the tragedies that have blighted the people I'm researching. But I go back and visit them after stepping away for that short while. Finding newspaper articles and searching the local and national timeline during their lives, is like popping in for a cup of tea and gossip, as you get a sense of what they would have talked about, what would have directly affected them as well. Also, sometimes if you are lucky, a newspaper article (or several) may contain some news about your relative (even if it is about them coming third in the local show for growing the best potatoes).